A few years ago, I was offered a job by a very sweet and wonderful woman who has created her own successful business. Since I had worked with her before and loved it, I would have welcomed the opportunity to work with her again…But, I did some soul searching and listened to my heart…”Not now” it spoke. And though I knew I could have a wonderful experience, I said no. After over twenty years of teaching in the classroom, I chose to be home, and my heart was telling me to be here now. What I didn’t know was that my son was going to ask to be home-schooled, and I was there for him. My father became ill, and I had the space in time to offer care for him. And my mother called me to her side so I could spend time with her before she let go of this life. I know I could have done these things even if I had accepted my dear friend’s offer, but I now see how I was able to be more present to my life, able to feel every part of it, and grow in love with it.
Each day, I give thanks for being here now…I love driving my children wherever they need to go, doing homework, caring for our home. With a family of five who have different eating styles, I love making meals. I love being present to these aspects of my life, even if the person sitting in the back seat of the car is listening to music in headphones or reading silently to herself while I drive. I welcome the moments of being with them, observing them interact with life, feeling their joys and supporting their dreams. Being present to them gives me the greatest joys of my days.
And, last night, when I was ready for rest, a little more than usual, I lay on my bed, still in my clothes, while everyone got ready for sleep. Each of them, my sweet husband included, found their way to me to share a hug, a kiss, a cuddle. When finally my younger son said, “Momma, let’s tuck YOU in tonight.” He lifted the covers and carefully placed them around me. Then, as he kissed me goodnight, he said, “I love you, and I love being in your Presence.” This has been my greatest gift to them, being more and more present, and as it turns out, it is also their greatest gift to me.