here I am again!
stepping into this place
of rolling waves and lightning surges
coming from my heaving belly,
inside me there is an earthquake
taking with it
expectation and resistance,
they crash and change
into an undulating song
of forward backward open palm close palm rhythms
bone grinding back arching eye rolling Ommmm::home::
the whole world shifts,
I am you and you are me:
I am the rosebud and the bee,
the nectar and the hummingbird,
the poplar bud opening revealing
creamy petal splotched with orange,
I am the hen laying her egg,
the hatching chick peeping out of membrane shell,
the ocean, the rain drop, the storm
the women every one of them come and gone,
here before and now:
the norns cackle at me,
squatting strapped breathing pushing unconscious awake
at home, in the fields, in the hospital
it doesn’t matter anymore
nothing matters anymore
who am i?
I watch myself
split open and melt
a watermelon growing out from between my legs
strong legs, hah! they called them thunder thighs
they didn’t know how powerful these thunder thighs are!
I laugh: how I love these thighs!
I love them all;
they gave me this gift
this delicious laughter in a hot burning place.
I thank I forgive I love
Where oh where is my mother?
Am I going to die?
It doesn’t matter
Nothing matters anymore
When there’s a meteor coming out
I’m falling apart putting myself back together a part
Time looses all meaning,
all of a sudden there’s a head on my hands
insides turned outside
I look into a pair of wide open eyes
Looking back at me,
did I just give birth or did birth give me I?
My mother said I’d find out ‘some day’
What I’d find she didn’t say
Though in the umbilical unwinding
Mystery keeps on reminding
Me of the star lit dream
We dance on
together over the stream.
Poetry by Mariam